Martin 1300cc Superstar
Joined:
Saturday, November 27, 2004
Posts: 3628
Location:
Kent
United Kingdom
Four jokes for the post of One!
Bob Helps Out ...
Bob goes into the public restroom and sees this guy standing next to the urinal.
The guy has no arms. As Bob's standing there, taking care of business,
he wonders to himself how the poor wretch is going to take a leak.
Bob finishes and starts to leave when the man asks Bob to help him out.
Being a kind soul, Bob says, "Ah, OK, sure, I'll help you."
The man asks, "Can you unzip my zipper?" Bob says, "OK."
Then the man says, "Can you pull it out for me?" Bob replies,
"Uh, yeah, OK." Bob pulls it out and it has all kinds of mold and red bumps,
with hair clumps, rashes, moles, scabs, scars, and reeks something awful.
Then the guy asks Bob to point it for him, and Bob points for him.
Bob then shakes it, puts it back in and zips it up.
The guy tells Bob, "Thanks, man, I really appreciate it."
Bob says, "No problem, but what the hell's wrong with your penis?"
The guy pulls his arms out of his shirt and says,
"I don't know, but I ain't touching it."
Campfire ...
Three cowboys are sitting around a campfire, out on the lonesome prairie,
each with the bravado for which cowboys are famous.
A night of tall tales begins. The first says,
"I must be the meanest, toughest cowboy there is.
Why, just the other day, a bull got loose in the corral and gored six men
before I wrestled it to the ground, by the horns, with my bare hands."
The second can't stand to be bested. "Why that's nothing.
I was walking down the trail yesterday and
a fifteen foot rattler slid out from under a rock and made a move for me.
I grabbed that snake with my bare hands, bit its head off,
and sucked the poison down in one gulp. And I'm still here today."
The third cowboy remained silent,
slowly stirring the coals with his penis.
Confession ...
Jake was on his deathbed.
His wife Susan was maintaining a vigil by his side.
She held his fragile hand as tears ran down her face.
Her praying roused him from his slumber.
He looked up and his pale lips began to move slightly.
"My darling Susan," he whispered.
"Hush, my love," she said. "Rest. Shhh. Don't talk."
He was insistent. "Susan," he said in his tired voice.
"I have something I must confess to you."
"There's nothing to confess," replied the weeping Susan.
"Everything's all right, go to sleep."
"No, no. I must die in peace, Susan...
I slept with your sister, your best friend and your mother."
"I know," she replied.
"That's why I poisoned you.
Coma ...
A woman is in a coma.
Nurses are in her room giving her a sponge bath.
One of them is washing her "private area"
and notices that there is a response on the monitor
when her private parts are touched.
They go to her husband and explain what happened, telling him,
"Crazy as this sounds, maybe a little oral sex will do the trick
and bring her out of the coma."
The husband is skeptical,
but they assure him that they'll close the curtains for privacy.
Besides it's worth a try.
The hubby finally agrees and goes into his wife's room.
After a few minutes the woman's monitor flat-lines ...
no pulse ... no heart rate!
The nurses run into the room.
The husband is standing there, pulling up his pants and says,
"I think she choked."
Replies
4 Jokes ... - Posted on 2005-12-06 21:44:27
dub 1300cc Superstar
Joined:
Friday, September 16, 2005
Posts: 603
Location:
.
United Kingdom
Quality!
4 Jokes ... - Posted on 2005-12-06 22:08:29
son_of_smids 1200cc Race Star
Joined:
Monday, October 03, 2005
Posts: 416
Location:
huddersfield
United Kingdom
4 Jokes ... - Posted on 2005-12-06 21:30:45
4 Jokes ... - Posted on 2005-12-06 21:44:27
