davie 1200cc Race Star
Joined:
Saturday, November 13, 2004
Posts: 487
Location:
Staffs
United Kingdom
Day 1
Dear Roeby..thankyou for the present of a partridge in a pear tree..the missus loves it and has decided to keep the tree indoors in a pot.
Day 2
Dear Roeby..i never knew you cared so much..thanks for the 2 turtle doves...after a small skirmish with the partridge they settled in fine and are sitting watching tv on a branch on the pear tree.
Day 3
Dear Roeby..well i can't believe you think so highly of us...the present of 3 french hens is most surprising...they immediately attacked the partridge but luckily the doves have sided with him. The vet soon patched em all up at minimal expense so all is well.
Day 4
Dear Roeby..well youve done it again...the 4 calling birds you sent have really upset the status quo..after keeping us awake all night they decided to tear into the hens as they thought they were getting off with the doves. The vets bill this time wasnt so minimal and our xmas might not now be as merry as we had hoped. However a present is a present so we are not going to moan.
Day 5
Dear Roeby..what can we say? 5 gold rings are great presents..thankyou very much..pity we've had to sell them to pay vets bills..but hey its the thought that counts so thankyou again.
Day 6
Dear Roeby..what you doing woman..6 geese a laying?? its like hitchcocks the irds in here now..eggs all over the floor and more fights than a scottish wedding!!! we appreciate xmas is a time for giving but this is going too far.!!!!
Day 7
Dear Roeby..for gods sake woman..enough is enough..7 swans a swimming?..theyve taken over the bathroom now...we have too pee outside!!! and last night they did a sneak attack on the turtle doves..the vets bill is extortionate. the missus is on 2 valium a day now and our carpet smells like ...well a bird toilet to be honest. we cant take much more of this.
Day 8
Dear Roeby..ok you muppet thats it...8 maids a milking???????? jesus woman we aint even got a cow!!! and they are eating us out of house and home.the missus is on 4 valium now and due to the lack of a bathroom shes starting to smell like our carpet. stop it now please.
Day 9
Dear Roeby..right you evil bitch...9 ladies dancing??? we are struggling to feed ourselves as it is.what with the bird food and vets bills its crippling us. and 9 women dancing all night its becoming hard to get a good nights sleep!!!!!! we have also had to buy a cow. STOP NOW!!!!!!
Day 10
Dear Roeby..ok you in big trouble now...10 lords a leaping??????????? they are all alcoholics..which isnt a major problem because the missus is on a litre of whisky a day now...but they have caused problems as the 9 ladies dancing and 8 maids a milking are fighting over them. the carpet is now several inches deep in feathers and bird crap and the vets bills are sky high. we understand that you feel the need to give ..but please enough!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Day 11
Dear Roeby..right you sick evil woman...11 pipers piping!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! dont you think we are struggling as it is you evil cow. the noise is dreadful and now the maids fancy the pipers which is causing even more problems as the ladies keep looking up the pipers kilts. there was a mass squabble last night between the swans and the other birds resulting in vets bills of over £500 and the carpet is now not visible to the naked eye. the missus is on 10 valium and 2 litres of whisky a day now..and we still cant sleep. NO MORE PLEEEEEEEEEEEEASE.
Day 12
Dear Roeby.. AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH what the hell you thinking about????????? 12 drummers drumming????? dont you think we got enough mouths to feed? the missus is in a straight jacket now..i have to pour the whisky in her mouth myself. the carpet looks like a jungle theres eggs everywhere and 3 of the maids are pregnant!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the lords are all holding their AA meetings here..the bathroom is still swan territory and the whole house stinks of bird shite!!!!!!!!! i beseach you NO MORE ENOUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you evil nasty woman.
Merry Xmas everyone.
Replies
12 days of xmas. - Posted on 2005-12-14 19:20:46
KaptainKwak 1300cc Superstar
Joined:
Monday, August 15, 2005
Posts: 4981
Location:
bolton
United Kingdom
PMSL@DAVIE.
Very, very good mate.
12 days of xmas. - Posted on 2005-12-14 20:45:21
KaptainKwak 1300cc Superstar
Joined:
Monday, August 15, 2005
Posts: 4981
Location:
bolton
United Kingdom
Another quality post. Nice one Scorps amd of course Madd!
12 days of xmas. - Posted on 2005-12-14 21:51:09
blondie 1300cc Superstar
Joined:
Friday, May 06, 2005
Posts: 3971
Location:
Gillingham, Kent
United Kingdom
scorps...whey to go...pmsl pmsl pmsl..pass me the incontinent pads....seriously ...u funi...hope (bastid) and (gnasher) sorts themselves out b4 xmas ...lol...luvd it...xxxxx
12 days of xmas. - Posted on 2005-12-14 22:04:31
sublime 1000cc Pro Racer
Joined:
Thursday, October 27, 2005
Posts: 217
Location:
penrith
United Kingdom
i just love a good story!! pmsl nice one you two.....( memo to self , must try harder in future!! )
12 days of xmas. - Posted on 2005-12-14 22:40:26
Roeby 1300cc Superstar
Joined:
Posts: 8884
Location:
Derbyshire
United Kingdom
now hang on i like a good story as much as the next but there is no way i would give U (davie) that many pressies i would have kept some for myself lol .......... oh and btw i would like to hear what u think of the real pressies i have got u pmsl
12 days of xmas. - Posted on 2005-12-14 22:42:24
hammerntongs 1300cc Superstar
Joined:
Friday, October 29, 2004
Posts: 1492
Location:
all of it
Thailand
Very good folks. I love all the xmas sprit in ere............LOL
12 days of xmas. - Posted on 2005-12-15 09:13:24
Ducatibird 1300cc Superstar
Joined:
Wednesday, February 02, 2005
Posts: 999
Location:
Nottingham
United Kingdom
thats why scorps i stopped goin to that particular gym..............lol
12 days of xmas. - Posted on 2005-12-15 10:23:52
The_Reverend 1300cc Superstar
Joined:
Wednesday, February 16, 2005
Posts: 1078
Location:
Coventry: Why?
United Kingdom
Thanks Davie and Scorps.
I needed a bloody good laugh and those two posting were the wasps nipples.
12 days of xmas. - Posted on 2005-12-15 18:47:40
blondie 1300cc Superstar
Joined:
Friday, May 06, 2005
Posts: 3971
Location:
Gillingham, Kent
United Kingdom
do wasps have nipples????????? lol
12 days of xmas. - Posted on 2005-12-15 19:45:36
rev_ 1300cc Superstar
Joined:
Thursday, January 13, 2005
Posts: 3068
Location:
Coventry
United Kingdom
i agree reverend after the day i've had i needed a chuckle! davie made a joke!!!!
i was wondering scorps, i knew you liked the gym and of course swimming!!
pmsl very good
12 days of xmas. - Posted on 2005-12-23 21:52:39
davie 1200cc Race Star
Joined:
Saturday, November 13, 2004
Posts: 487
Location:
Staffs
United Kingdom
is it xmas yet?
12 days of xmas. - Posted on 2005-12-24 01:50:20
KaptainKwak 1300cc Superstar
Joined:
Monday, August 15, 2005
Posts: 4981
Location:
bolton
United Kingdom
No
12 days of xmas. - Posted on 2005-12-24 08:41:00
the_ox 1300cc Superstar
Joined:
Saturday, October 30, 2004
Posts: 8803
Location:
London
United Kingdom
Almost
12 days of xmas. - Posted on 2005-12-24 15:46:46
suzuki_goddess 1300cc Superstar
Joined:
Tuesday, March 15, 2005
Posts: 2318
Location:
Jersey
United Kingdom
12 days of xmas. - Posted on 2005-12-14 18:12:27
12 days of xmas. - Posted on 2005-12-14 22:42:24
